DEAR ANNIE: I know this topic has been beaten to death, but still I am asking for advice. For more than 25 years, I have been designing and making all of my greeting cards by hand, with rubber stamps, dyes and coloring tools. It takes me a long time to do one card, and I enjoy the process very much.
I have two children who each have two children. One is a son, the other a daughter. My daughter’s kids, who are teens, always thank me for the cards. My son’s kids, who are slightly younger, never have, and I mean that “never” literally. Last year for their birthdays, I bought store-bought cards to send with their gifts. I am waiting for the day when my son asks why. Do I tell the truth and say that my feelings have been hurt and that I am done with anticipating a response that will never come, or do I make up some story about not having time (or whatever)? The grandkids don’t live close to each other, so there isn’t ever a comparison made. It just makes me sad that they do not appreciate what I do. -- Sad and Hurting Grandma
DEAR SAD AND HURTING GRANDMA: Being open about your feelings is often the best route. Share with your son how much joy you find in creating those cards and how you’ve noticed the difference in responses. It’s not about blame; it’s about expressing that a simple acknowledgment means a lot to you. It’s OK to set the expectation for gratitude, and it’s a valuable lesson for your grandchildren as well. It’s about respect and recognition for someone’s time and effort. You deserve to feel appreciated for your acts of love.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
