DEAR AMY: I’m writing to you to ask your opinion of a moral/ethical situation that I am experiencing.
Many years ago, at the time of my mother’s passing, she left a will stating that my brother and I were to share equally in an amount of money that she left in some bonds that she had previously purchased. My mother discussed this with me before she died.
Since she made my brother the executor of her estate, he was able to sell the bonds without my knowing until after Mom’s death. Subsequently, he advised me that there was no money for me (he cashed in the bonds and kept all of the money.)
My brother died last year. I didn’t want to bring up the aforementioned situation at that time, due to my sister-in-law’s health and her intense grief.
But now that it’s almost a full year since he passed, I’d like to know this: Would it be morally/ethically correct if I ask her for the money that my brother “stole” from me?
I know that she most likely didn’t know anything about the fact that he did this. It upsets me to know that he didn’t honor our mother’s final wishes. I do need the money. So I’d like your input as to whether or not it would be right for me to pursue this.
– A Wronged Sister
DEAR SISTER: You had many years to confront your brother and pursue him legally for the money you believe he stole from you, but you didn’t do that. You also don’t mention seeing any will or documentation proving your case.
Now that your brother has died, you would like to confront his completely ignorant and innocent widow in order to pressure her to give you this money.
My opinion is that pursuing this now is both unethical and unkind.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
