DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have, as close friends, two families in which the husbands -- previously powerful, with highly respected jobs -- have become disabled with dementia. Both wives have explained that they have become caretakers for their husbands. You can imagine the tragedy; we are devastated.
My wife and I care deeply for both families, but we don’t know how to communicate with them now, or even if we should. If we attempt contact, we may seem to be imposing and demanding a response. If we don’t, we may seem indifferent. Can you suggest the right path forward?
GENTLE READER: Pay social visits to them. Look for ways to relieve the wives -- doing errands, bringing treats, staying with the husband so that the wife can go out.
But you were wondering if you should even communicate with these close friends. Miss Manners would have thought that the very concept of friendship means not deserting them because of their troubles.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
