DEAR ABBY: My sister lost her husband a year ago. She has three grown children, but she has a fractured relationship with her 30-year-old daughter. I am heartbroken because I have two daughters and I can’t imagine what my sister is going through.
My niece was close to her father and has thrown in my sister’s face that he was her person and she told him everything. My niece and I have a good relationship, and she confides to me things she does not speak to her mother about.
I am debating whether to speak to my niece to get a sense of what her issue with my sister really is. My niece blames her mother for everything. I’m not sure if trying to help will backfire. Please help. -- INVOLVED AUNT IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR AUNT: I am sure you mean well, but I don’t think it would be helpful to insert yourself as a mediator between your sister and your niece. For whatever reason, your niece felt more comfortable confiding in her late father than in your sister. Stating that fact out loud was not “throwing it in someone’s face.”
Your relationship with your daughters is clearly different from the one your sister has with hers. Unless you want to alienate your niece, let the two of them work it out.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
