DEAR AMY: My wife of 30-plus years won’t stop flirting with a man that works for her, although not in the same office.
He is also married and flirts back.
What bothers me is he has slept with at least one other woman in her office.
He told her that his wife refused to have sex with him.
I have seen texts from both of them, by accident.
Additionally, they do dinners and meetings outside of work when the spouses are “unavailable.”
I told her that this needs to stop but she claims that he is a friend and that she needs his help.
She refuses marriage counseling. I recently learned that she had an affair with another coworker.
She refuses to talk about that as it was too long ago ... over 20 years.
I love my wife but really can’t take this disrespect any longer.
In reality, as I near retirement, I feel that I have wasted the best years of my life.
Any suggestions?
– Distraught
DEAR DISTRAUGHT: I hope you don’t genuinely believe that you have wasted the best years of your life, even though you have “spent” these years with someone who you don’t believe is a loving partner.
The best years of your life could be ahead.
You will feel better if you take some of your power back. See a lawyer, commit to counseling, and start making choices that are in your best interests.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
