DEAR ABBY: My son got his girlfriend pregnant. She already has a 7-year-old by another man. Her mother kicked her and the baby out right after the baby was born. She had no other place to go, so I had her, her child and my grandbaby stay with my husband and me. What a big mistake that was!
All we asked of her was to clean up a little bit around the house. She lives here rent-free. She buys her food and will cook sometimes for herself and her children, but she leaves the pots and pans and dishes for me to do. She won’t lift a finger to do any other household chores. She works only part time, and I watch both kids when my son can’t. Am I wrong to be angry that she won’t help out? -- DOING IT ALL IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR DOING IT: I’m glad you asked. This appears to be an example of “no good deed goes unpunished.” That said, you are wrong to be angry at your son’s girlfriend. You should be angry at yourself for tolerating her selfish behavior.
She AND YOUR SON should be working toward being independent. They are a family now. Lay down the law to your son and this young woman. Tell them EXACTLY what you expect of both of them -- and that if they don’t comply, they will have to make other living arrangements. Then enforce the rules. If you do, you will be doing all of you a favor.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
