DEAR AMY: Two years ago, my good friends who lived across the street moved away.
The following summer, I invited the new family (“Family A”) along with three other neighboring families over for a cookout.
Everything went well. It was a fun evening. One of the other families that I invited (“Family B”) was also new.
A and B live across the street from me, next door to each other.
What I don’t understand is why neither of these new neighbors has ever invited me/my husband over to their houses. Not even for a cup of coffee.
When Family B had a baby, I stopped by and dropped off a card and a gift.
That was the only time I was ever invited into their house. (They did send me a thank you card afterwards.)
For the last two years, I’ve seen families A and B get together throughout the summer.
I just don’t get it. They are “smile and wave” neighbors but don’t seem interested in becoming friends with me. My husband thinks it’s because they have younger kids. Our youngest children are 13-year-old twins.
One of our twins is autistic/special needs.
It just makes me feel sad. Why is it so difficult to make new friends as adults?
– Missing my Friends
DEAR MISSING: Making new friends as adults is indeed extremely challenging. But I believe that making new friends is challenging at any age.
Falling into friendship is like falling in love – it has to do with chemistry.
Children tend to be thrown together and they make do, but true friendship is rare! You got so lucky with your previous neighbors, and you are proving that you are a kind and generous neighbor on the block, but these younger families are bonded together by their younger kids, and they obviously share a rapport.
Please don’t take this personally.
You are not doing anything wrong. They are also not doing anything wrong.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
