DEAR ANNIE: My friend “Emily” and I go way back to our college days, when we used to share absolutely everything with each other -- the good, the bad and the ugly. She recently got a promotion at work (she works for a well-known accounting firm), something I know she’s been dreaming of for a while. Of course, I’m super happy for her, but things between us have kind of shifted since then.
Now it’s all about her job and her new responsibilities and her added stress, and whenever I try to bring up something about my work or what’s going on with me, it feels like she doesn’t care. It’s like suddenly, she’s in the spotlight and I’m just on the sidelines. I’m feeling a bit jealous and overlooked, which is totally not us. I want to talk to her about this without making her feel bad about her success or risking messing up our friendship. How can I bring this up without coming off as jealous or small-minded? -- Feeling on the Sidelines
DEAR FEELING ON THE SIDELINES: Try setting aside some time to share your feelings with Emily privately. Start with how happy you are for her success, and then gently express that you’ve been feeling a bit disconnected from her lately. Highlight your desire to support each other equally, and avoid framing it as a complaint about her behavior. Focus instead on your feelings and the things that you need from a friendship right now. This approach encourages open communication without placing blame. The conversation could reinforce your friendship’s foundation, reminding both of you why it’s lasted this long.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
