DEAR ABBY: After spending hours preparing a meal, is it appropriate for your guest to cover the food on their plate with salt and pepper without first tasting it? Beyond being inappropriate, isn’t it just plain rude? Should I say something? Never invite them for a meal again? Or just let it go? -- IN A STATE IN THE GARDEN STATE
DEAR IN A STATE: The next time a guest reflexively gestures toward the saltshaker without having taken a bite of your food, you would be within your rights to ask WHY. Perhaps your cooking tends toward the underspiced.
If you are truly offended by this, no rule of etiquette decrees that you must invite the person again. (I also know of no rule of etiquette that states a host MUST put salt and pepper on the table.) If a friendship is a warm one, I’m inclined to allow my guests to do whatever makes them comfortable, appreciate them for who they are and let something like this go.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
