DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college student, and my roommate and I have majorly conflicting sleeping habits.
I have declared music as my major and have seven classes that I need to keep on top of, in addition to several rehearsals a week. My days begin at 9 a.m. and sometimes don’t end until 9 p.m. I am up and about all day long, whether it is to go to class, study, practice, do homework or chat online with my friends.
She, however, is an “undeclared” student, so she does not have as many classes, and they are not as difficult as mine. She will often sleep all day, even if it means skipping class, and stay awake all night to play video games or watch TV.
When I confronted her about this, she said she could not sleep at night because I talk or cry in my sleep and snore (which is strange, because I have roomed with many other friends and family members, and no one has ever said that). However, I have lost sympathy for her, because I do not make the decision for her to play video games all night and sleep during the day.
It’s extremely frustrating for me, because when she sleeps during the day, she wants “complete darkness and complete silence,” which means I cannot get any work done until she wakes up. I have been finding ways to get my work done, but I am starting to fall behind. I can’t keep using friends’ computers and avoiding the room I am paying $2,800 a year for, just so she can sleep whenever she feels like it.
I have been trying to let her sleep when she needs to, but I know I could have better grades if I could get all my work done on time. Am I being selfish? What can I do to remedy this situation?
GENTLE READER: Your work is falling behind because you are so successful at complying with your roommate’s demands. Would it not be possible to improve the former by allowing a modest decline in the latter -- forgetting, for example, that you promised not to start practicing before 8 o’clock? Adjusting to this or changing rooming arrangements would thus be up to her.
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