DEAR ABBY: My partner and I have miscarried five times over the past four years. We are heartbroken, defeated, overwhelmed and exhausted. We are struggling emotionally, physically and financially because of this journey.
We do not feel any real emotional support from our families. They have been sympathetic, but after the initial “I’m sorry. I’m here if you need me. We’re thinking about you,” that’s it. They expect us to attend all holidays, family gatherings, trips, etc., and we aren’t always feeling up to it.
I am angry with them for not understanding what we’re going through. I have started distancing myself and skipping these family functions. Is this wrong of me? -- BOWING OUT IN NORTH DAKOTA
DEAR BOWING OUT: No. Under the circumstances, skipping a family gathering in which you would be forced to socialize isn’t a bad idea. If this causes hurt feelings, remind the host that grief has no set timetable, and you will celebrate with them again when you are up to it. Period.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
