DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a small destination wedding at a nice, but not top-of-the-line, resort. All guests but one had a lovely time.
The one unhappy guest usually travels to nicer resorts. We discussed this in advance, and I gave her several opportunities to decline, with the understanding that this may not be her usual cup of tea.
She came anyway, but was unhappy and unpleasant the whole time. She spit out food at our cocktail hour, left the reception to eat elsewhere, described the spa as torture, and even insulted my groom and what he was wearing several times. I’m not sure why she wanted us to feel bad at our wedding, but she sure used a lot of poor manners to show how superior she was to us.
Now I have to send a thank-you note for her presence (no gift, as it was a destination), but I’m struggling to find sincere words of appreciation as I think it would have been better if she hadn’t come at all. Any ideas?
GENTLE READER: As much as she hates to discourage a thank-you letter, Miss Manners is pleased to tell you that one for mere attendance at a wedding is not necessary. Of course, your unhappy and unkind guest may disagree. But clearly she is used to being disappointed.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
