DEAR AMY: I am the youngest of four siblings — two boys and two girls.
I wasn’t particularly close with my brothers when we were young, but grew to have great relationships with them now that we’re older.
My brother’s wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer and the outlook is not good.
I have never been close to either of my sisters-in-law, and now feel quite awkward around her and at a loss for words.
I think about her and my brother a lot and want to be a comforting presence and do something for her, but I am at a loss.
I’ve made meals and things like that, but I don’t know what else to do.
Any ideas?
— Want to Help
DEAR WANT TO HELP: Acts of service might be the best way for you to provide help and comfort. I suggest that you contact your brother and sister-in-law and offer to drive her to treatments, clean their house, mow the lawn, and provide meals — whatever they would find most helpful.
It is important that your sister-in-law also be allowed privacy, if that’s what she wants or needs right now.
If you can’t find the words or don’t know what to say, I think it’s always best to just admit that.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
