DEAR ABBY: My husband has a 36-year-old daughter from a one-night stand. For the last two years, she has been wanting to meet his family, aunts, uncles. She has met them all except for our own children -- her half-siblings. Our children are adults and don’t want a relationship with her. She wasn’t part of their life when they were growing up, and now she’s calling their father Dad.
I feel awkward as well, knowing my husband knew about her and wanted nothing to do with her when she was younger. His family has accepted her and is pressuring our children to accept her and let her hang out. Are we wrong for not wanting to act like one big family? -- AWKWARD IN TEXAS
DEAR AWKWARD: If there is a victim in this scenario it is the daughter your husband denied for so long. Although the situation isn’t something you are thrilled with, the young woman IS a part of the family. This isn’t the 1950s. The circumstances of her birth are not a reason for her to be ostracized.
Point out to your children that their half-sister IS a relative, and they should give her a chance. If they do, they may be pleasantly surprised to find that they have things in common.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
