Miss Manners: Courteous airline passengers ... what next?

Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, answers a question about courteous airline passengers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am privileged to receive free air travel benefits from my husband’s job as an airline pilot. My family flies on standby status, so we are usually among the last passengers to board the plane. Because of this, I am often separated from my 10-year-old. This is fine with us, as my son is an experienced traveler and is a quiet, self-sufficient and polite passenger.

Other well-meaning passengers will sometimes offer their seat to me so that my son and I can sit together. If my assigned seat is as good or better than the one being offered, I will gratefully accept the switch.

However, if I am assigned a poor seat, I usually thank the person, but decline. I do not want a paying passenger to have to take my bad (but free) seat. Then again, perhaps the other passenger does not want to sit next to my child, meaning I should accept regardless.

I am not permitted to advertise that I am flying for free. Is my response correct, or should I always accept the offered seat?

GENTLE READER: What? Airline passengers who are considerate of the other passengers! One moment, please, while Miss Manners picks herself up off the floor.

Of course, people in such circumstances ought to bond and look out for one another; it’s just that the stories one hears tend to suggest the opposite. But here you are, asking how to be most considerate of those who are being considerate of you. Thank you.

Let us assume that your would-be benefactors are also acting out of courtesy, not that they are trying to get away from your son. You could simply accept with thanks. Or you could say, also with thanks, “But this is a worse seat, and my son is an experienced passenger, who will be fine.” This allows them to insist -- or not.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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