DEAR AMY: I have an intrusive neighbor that refuses to acknowledge my non-verbal signals when I don’t want to have a conversation.
I live on a very friendly street and have a casual relationship with most of my neighbors.
The lady next door always insists on interrupting me whenever I am outside. She enjoys sharing her opinion about my yard and garden.
It’s gotten to the point where if I go outside and see her, I promptly turn around and go to the privacy fenced backyard or go inside and wait for her to leave.
I’ve tried to set boundaries. I have told her directly that I don’t want to chat when I’m in the middle of mowing my lawn, but she will stand in front of my lawn mower and force me to stop.
What can I say to this woman to be left alone?
– Intruded Upon
DEAR INTRUDED UPON: You seem capable of delivering a direct statement to your neighbor (good for you), and so let’s borrow a technique from my favorite nursery school teachers, and kick it up a notch.
Try saying, “I need you not to come into my yard. Can you agree to respect the boundary between our properties?”
Ending with a question should inspire a positive response. If not – or if this intrusion continues – you might need to ask a lawyer to draft a letter reminding this neighbor not to trespass onto your property.
You can then post a small “no trespassing” sign at the edge of your yard. Further intrusions might necessitate a call to your sheriff’s non-emergency line to ask their advice.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
