DEAR AMY: I got married (at 30) to a man who had two children.
The girl was seven, the boy was two.
We were together for 16 years before divorcing, and although I have a close bond to the now 53-year-old former stepdaughter, I have never been successful in having a bond with the son.
Now, 30 years after my divorce from his father, I received an invitation to his daughter’s high school graduation party.
I am flummoxed and am unsure about how to respond to this gesture.
I do not know this young woman and have never been included in their lives.
Should I just send a nice card?
– On the Fence
DEAR ON THE FENCE: Yes, just send a nice card. There is never a downside to sending a nice card.
In the far corners of your personal universe, someone, somewhere, suggested that this young woman should reach out to you to invite you to her graduation party.
The graduate’s aunt (the former step-daughter you’ve stayed close to) might have encouraged her brother and his daughter to make an effort to get to know you a little bit.
Some people might accuse this girl of “trolling for gifts,” but my theory is that the high school graduation celebration is often the first party young people have inviting privileges to which includes a wider circle than their immediate friends – and they tend to cast a wide and sometimes awkward net.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
