DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have a vacation house, and we enjoy inviting friends and family to stay there throughout the summer and early fall. Our guests, unfailingly polite, often want to “help” after I prepare a meal, which we do often because I love to cook and the farmers markets are such a delight of abundance.
Here’s the rub: Most of our guests do things in the kitchen differently from how I do them. For instance, they put sharp knives, silver flatware, wooden bowls, nonstick cookware and fine china in the dishwasher. These things get ruined in the dishwasher.
Now, I’ve never been one to value my stuff over my friends -- if a friend spills an entire glass of red wine on the rug, no big deal. But time and again, I say to my friends, “The only help I want is for you to come sit and keep me company while I clean up.”
My husband thinks I’m being churlish and making people uncomfortable by refusing their help in the kitchen. How should I politely handle this?
GENTLE READER: Suggesting that your husband clean up while you distract the guests by entertaining them elsewhere comes to Miss Manners’ mind. Or telling him, “We don’t make the guests earn their supper.”
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
