DEAR MISS MANNERS: I friended an old classmate on social media. We weren’t close in school, but time passes, nostalgia sets in, and sometimes you like to reconnect. This girl was pleasant as a child, though not real bright, and a bit shy.
Lately she’s been commenting on every one of my posts using alTerNaTinG cAps aNd lOweRcAsE letters. I’m a writer, editor and typographer, but I had to look this up to find out it’s meant to convey a mocking tone.
I’m baffled by my friend’s use of this style because her comments themselves are either benign or complimentary. So the creepy, disjointed type style either doesn’t fit or it lends a sarcastic tone to her comments.
I’m not even sure she knows the real meaning of it, and is just using it because she thinks it’s cool and will make her comments stand out. If that’s the case, I don’t want to hurt her feelings by unfriending her. But if it’s truly meant as mockery, I don’t care to communicate with her anymore.
Should I just come right out and ask her what she means by it? Or should I post a general comment to indicate I know what it’s supposed to mean, wait for her to read it, and see if she stops?
GENTLE READER: The former. Miss Manners is inclined to give your friend the benefit of the doubt by saying to her, privately, “I noticed that your comments are often in alternating caps and just recently found out myself that that is generally used to convey sarcasm. I can’t imagine that was your intention, so I just wanted to make you aware.”
This way, even if it was deliberate, one hopes she would seize the opportunity to plead ignorance and stop. But then again, you did mention that she was nOt rEaL bRiGhT.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
