The world of romance can be daunting, and figuring out the perfect time to go home with your date can vary, but a relationship expert has shared the exact time you should wait, and the answer is shocking.
Louise Perry, known as an expert in the dating scene, initially advised couples to stick to the three-month rule but has since revealed that you shouldn’t become intimately involved with each other until the question has been popped and there’s a ring on a finger!
You should wait until engagement to go home with your date
Louise Perry is a British journalist, podcast host, and author recently appeared on The Diary Of A CEO podcast to share her wisdom surrounding dating.
The writer spoke to host Steve Bartlett about her concerns with women being intimate with men before any real commitment is clarified.
In the YouTube video, Louise explains her book states people should wait until the three-month mark to sleep with their date. However, her real advice recommends people wait until they’re engaged.
When Steven asked Louise about the ideal time, she announced: “I think, probably, actually waiting until engagement is a better call.”
Louise admits that it is more difficult to wait in a culture where it is deemed as ‘weird’ (unless for religious reasons) and you risk cutting out anyone who could have been a match: “You basically cut out a big chunk of your possible matches by insisting on that.”
Perry confessed that the only reason she advised people to wait three months in the book is because it seemed more reasonable and achievable, this way it prevents book reviews from clinging on to the shocking statement.
The three-month rule in dating is a trial period for a potential partner, suggesting that it is recommended to get to know someone before getting serious since first impressions aren’t always reliable.
Relationship expert says commitment is key
The dating expert spoke about her studies of anthropology (the study of human diversity around the world, learning how different societies live together), and explained the importance of social rules: “Lack of social rules sets everyone up to fail.”
Louise explained that women and men would often end up in difficult situations because men didn’t know how to properly read ‘social cues,’ whereas women weren’t able to communicate that they didn’t want to go all the way because they were trying to set boundaries while being ‘friendly.’
If women waited until they were engaged, Louise says, they would be less likely to get caught up in emotions: “A lot of young women go along with [being intimate] even if they don’t want it. That causes a lot of misery because women in particular tend to get more emotionally bonded from sex more than men do.”
She explained that dating was a ‘whole game’ and according to data, women are more likely to ‘feel disgusting’ after one-night stands.
Louise admitted that she knew her advice wasn’t easy to follow, but added: “Having sex with a man you don’t want to get pregnant by is a bad decision and a big risk.”
Since the dating scene has become a “complicated game” in recent years, Louise said: “You have to find the right person, you have to find them at the right time, you have to ensure commitment from them.”
Louise Perry is a writer and campaigner based in London, UK, as the host of the ‘Maiden Mother Matriarch’ podcast, press officer for the charity, ‘We Can’t Consent To This’ and author of the book, ‘The Case Against The Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century’.
