Grief is one of the most complex emotions and learning to live with the pain after losing someone isn’t easy.
A life coach has shared an eye-opening analogy which sums up loss perfectly and brings comfort to those going through it.
Eye-opening analogy about grief
In an episode of his podcast On Purpose, Jay Shetty explained that a friend once told him grief is like a stone.
“You carry it in your pocket and you’ll always notice it. It’s there, but as time goes on, you get stronger,” he explained.
As you get stronger, the stone is still there and remains the same size, but it begins feeling lighter to carry.
This is how grief works. It never goes away, but each day gets easier and you slowly learn to cope with carrying it.
“As I grow and as I strengthen and as I become more resilient, it becomes lighter and doesn’t weigh on me in the same way,” he continued.
The five stages of grief
The feeling of the stone becoming lighter is the fifth and final stage of grief that many experience, called acceptance.
According to a model by psychiatrist Kübler-Ross, there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
The emotion begins with denial, where you refuse to accept the person is gone and continue on as normal.
This leads on to anger over the loss, trying to bargain with yourself or a higher being, before moving into sadness and depression.
The final stage is acceptance. As time passes, the pain of grief becomes less intense and you accept that the person is gone.
The grief will always be there, but you learn to live with it and are able to continue with life and find enjoyment again.
However, it’s important to remember that grief is not linear and not everyone will experience the same emotions in this order.
Hows to cope with grief
If you recently lost someone, the National Institutes of Health has shared some advice to help you cope.
- Take care of yourself: Try to exercise regularly, eat healthy food and get enough sleep. Avoid habits that can put your health at risk, like drinking too much alcohol or smoking.
- Talk with friends: Reach out to someone you trust and let them know if you need to talk.
- Try not to make any major changes right away: It’s a good idea to wait for a while before making big decisions, like moving or changing jobs.
- Join a grief support group: It might help to talk with others who are also grieving through support groups in person or online.
- Consider professional support: Some people find talking to a professional counselor about their grief more useful.
- Talk to your doctor. You can also speak to your healthcare provider if you are having trouble with everyday activities, like getting dressed, sleeping and making meals.
- Be patient with yourself: Mourning takes time so don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s common to feel a mix of emotions for a while.
