DEAR ABBY: Am I obligated to give people a free ride just because I am going to the same place or in the same direction? Too often people who barely speak to us suddenly remember we exist when they want something, especially if they or their child needs a ride somewhere.
Sometimes, they give lame excuses like, “Oh. I’m almost out of gas.” Other times it’s that they have chosen to do something else -- like go to a party -- instead of picking up their child. I don’t mind helping occasionally, but it’s to the point where I feel these people know they can do whatever else they wish because they know I’ll pick up the slack. I’m tired of being the chauffeur. I don’t want to make waves, but how can I say no? -- UNHAPPY DRIVER IN LOUISIANA
DEAR DRIVER: Here’s how. The next time you feel imposed upon, speak up and just say NO, that it ISN’T convenient. Do not feel obligated to go into detail or lie about why not. If this makes waves, it means that your relationship with that person wasn’t friendship, but transactional.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
