DEAR ABBY: I lost my beautiful mother six years ago. While, of course, I miss her terribly, something else has been bothering me that I’m having trouble getting over. I allowed my cousin on my dad’s side of the family to come to the hospital to see me and pay her respects, which didn’t bother me. It’s what occurred next that I have the big issue with.
When my cousin left the hospital, she jumped straight on Facebook and posted for everyone to see “RIP, Aunt Sally.” Everyone who was friends with Mom saw the post, which meant she announced my mom’s passing before I had even had time to process it all. I was extremely hurt, angry, sad and shocked that she would do that.
It still bothers me as it’s not something that can be undone. I was still lying beside my mom crying and trying to say goodbye to her when my phone started blowing up with messages and notifications. How can I get past the betrayal I feel? I have had very little contact with that cousin since. -- HURT IN FLORIDA
DEAR HURT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. In this internet age, it’s not unusual for people to post their feelings online. Your cousin may have been venting rather than intending to make a formal announcement of your mother’s passing. The problem with posting is that once it’s on there, it is out there for everyone to see and react to.
I do think this is something you should discuss with your cousin, who may not have realized how her online sentiments affected you on that sad and stressful day. You deserve an apology for her insensitivity.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
