DEAR ANNIE: I need help proving I’m not a cheater. I’m not going to dog her, but I’ve been battling for four years with constant assumptions and accusations that I’m cheating on my girlfriend. She doesn’t understand that I’m a simple person. I’m scared to even approach another female. I don’t like to talk to anyone really; I don’t like people in general.
We’ve been apart now for nine out of the last 12 months with probably 15 or so split-ups. If I had the extra cash, I would not hesitate to hire a polygraph consultant or something that can prove what I’m saying. I’m not a cheater and I haven’t even thought about it.
During our relationship, I have tried to limit her doubts and do as little as possible so that we can avoid this problem, but there isn’t anything I can say that is going to change her mind. I can sleep at night because I have a clean conscience and nothing to hide. Can you give me advice on how or what I can do to improve this? I really care about and love her. -- Constantly Questioned
DEAR QUESTIONED: I can tell from your letter how much the constant skepticism and lack of trust from your girlfriend is weighing on you -- and understandably so. Through your actions and words, it sounds like you’ve done nothing to justify this kind of uncertainty, and it’s unfair that you have to continue to defend yourself.
If you’re determined to move forward with this girl, you two must consult a couples therapist. It sounds like she has some battles to face that have nothing to do with you, and ultimately, she might not be ready or able to show up as a loving partner until she does so.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
