DEAR ANNIE: My friends and I are a group of four women who have known each other since elementary school. We reconnected at a high school reunion and became very close. We are all retired and travel, have lunch dates, and spend the nights together several times a year. There is one friend in the group who will not stop talking. She monopolizes every conversation and often tells the same story over and over again. Most of her stories are about her daughter and grandchildren. She does this in person and during telephone calls. When someone else is talking, you can glance at her and tell she is ready to jump into the conversation and say how the same thing happened to her or her daughter. It’s exhausting.
Other than that, she is a wonderful person. She would give you the shirt off her back and do anything for anybody. She is funny, kind and loving, and because of this, we have silently endured. We are planning a cruise next year and no one wants to room with her. We all hate confrontation and know she will be extremely hurt if we say something. Please help. What do we do? -- Exhausted
DEAR EXHAUSTED: It sounds like your friend doesn’t realize how her behavior is impacting the group. Have a private conversation with her, expressing your appreciation for her kindness and humor, but also share how the group feels overwhelmed by her dominance in conversations. A friendship that’s endured as long as this one has can handle tough topics. Just remind her that you’re all coming from a good place, and that, by confronting this together head-on, your friendship will hopefully only strengthen and grow.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
