Ask Amy: I paid for vacations, bought school clothes and hosted holidays yet I’m not invited to the wedding

Amy Dickinson

DEAR AMY: I have helped out my sister’s children over the years. (She is a single mom.)

I’ve provided vacations every summer, school clothes at the end of summer, hosted them for many Christmas breaks and making sure they had presents, and helping by giving money to their mom.

Now they’re grown.

The youngest is getting married soon in my city.

The wedding is small, and I did not make the guest list.

I am disappointed but I understand that they have a tight budget.

The problem is my sister has asked to stay with me during the weekend of festivities and I feel like it is a very insensitive request and rubbing my nose in the fact that I was not invited.

Right or wrong I feel like it would be hard to watch the weekend of wedding festivities and not be included. How do I respond?

– Upset Aunt

DEAR UPSET: You have been a very generous family member, but this does not guarantee a return on your investment. I’m sorry you were not included in this celebration, and I can understand why this feels like a snub.

You can say “no” to your sister, but I think you should let her stay in your place and during this time you should do something special for yourself. Plan your own adventure out of town.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

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