DEAR AMY: I am a 77-year-old, retired professional woman who has been widowed for three years following a very happy and very long marriage.
I am now ready to begin dating, but am unsure how to proceed.
When I was young, the lady never did the asking.
I’m not sure if that is still the protocol or whether it is acceptable and expected for me to call a gentleman I know to be single and ask for a date.
And if I do that, do I pay for the date, or is splitting the check the norm?
— Hoping for Companionship
DEAR HOPING: Yes — it is completely acceptable and expected for a woman to take the initiative and ask a man out.
Good first dates should be simple, inexpensive, and designed for the ease of conversation. A walk in the park followed by coffee, a visit to your local museum, botanical garden or historical society followed by coffee or a drink — chose something nearby and easy.
The person initiating the date should offer to pick up the entire check, but splitting the check is the norm — although a man in your generation might want to pick up the check, even if you’ve invited him out.
Which reminds me of a moment from a classic movie about adult dating, “Sleepless in Seattle,” that these days if a man offers to pick up the check, women will throw a parade for you.
Get out there! And good luck.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
