Arguments and fights are inevitable in a romantic relationship, but they don’t have to be left unresolved as a couples therapist swears by a method that “always works”.
Intimate relationships can be tricky and conflict resolution is a necessity to sail it smoothly. If you thought you and your partner have been bickering over an issue for years, a trick that takes ’26 minutes or less’ will supposedly fix it.
How to stop fight with your partner in less than half an hour
Couples therapist Roderick Jeter says any fight between a couple can be resolved “without drama and fuss”, by simply playing a game he’s discovered.
He says couples should rather talk their issues out than fight or argue about it and this can only be achieved by writing down the problems first.
The therapist suggests the couples write down the reasons for the issues and then repeat it from the other person’s perspective.
He uses an example from his parents’ marriage to explain his method better. His mother and father fought over the televisions at home for years, until they spoke about it.
His father found issues with his mother’s inclination to television, while she argued it was her only form of entertainment. What was always treated as an argument of years settled in about 26 minutes when they heard each other’s perspective with compassion.
Roderick says the trick “always works” regardless of the timeline of the fight or argument. All it takes is the willingness of the couples to try.
‘No fuss, no drama’
The trick, according to the therapist, is effective because it encourages the couple to present their problems without involving the “emotional reaction.”
He says the issues automatically become less intense when they are treated as statements without associating any emotions with them.
Furthermore, the tone naturally changes when the issues are written down, instead of being said aloud.
Roderick Jeter was at TEDx Talks last year when he explained the method he uses to resolve issues between couples.
He is a Navy veteran, who has dedicated his life to helping couples by redefining traditional counseling. The couple therapist’s “goal is to create happier homes and help as many couples as possible solve conflicts and disagreements with less drama and more fun through the YBAngry relationship too,” reads his bio on the YouTube video.
