Being single is mentally draining. When desperate to find a partner, you’re left wondering “What’s wrong with me?“, and this could be the answer.
Confidence and mindset coach Hattie MacAndrews has revealed the main reasons why people struggle to meet their match. It’s not them – it’s you!
Three main reasons why you’re single
“As a confidence and mindset coach, it’s my job to help women feel empowered and in control of their lives, especially when it comes to dating,” she said. “I myself am no stranger to being single, looking for love and navigating the (very) complex world of modern dating.”
If you are sick of swiping on dating apps and not getting anywhere with men, it might be time to take a look at yourself. These are the top three reasons you could be single, and some proven ways to overcome them.
1. You are too easily influenced by others
The first reason you might be single is because you’re too influenced by other people’s opinions, MacAndrews explained.
“For some reason, being single seems to make others think that you are desperately in need of advice, guidance and suggestions as to how to find a partner,” she said.
However, even if your friends and family members mean well, all of that unsolicited advice about who you should and shouldn’t date is leading to “confusion and overwhelm”.
It’s also making you feel judged and skewing your decisions, so block out all the noise and try not to take advice as gospel. Only you know what’s best for yourself!
2. You secretly believe you’re not good enough
The second reason you could be single is because you secretly believe you’re not good enough: not pretty enough, smart enough or any other trait.
“As women, we tend to be conditioned from a very early age to believe that we’re not good enough, in one way or another,” the mindset coach said.
In real life, that leads you to believe you’re not worthy of love, which makes finding a partner pretty much impossible as you push everyone away.
It’s time to start spending time on yourself, building up your confidence and self-esteem so you are then ready to led someone else in.
“Getting your mindset in check and developing a strong sense of self will give you a much better chance of attracting someone who’s right for you,” she added.
3. You’re stuck in a cycle of comparison
You may also be struggling to find love because you’re constantly comparing yourself to others – something we’re all guilty of.
In the age of social media, it’s too easy to subconsciously compare your love life to others without even realising it.
“It’s no secret that society has led us to believe that being in a relationship is better than being single. We live in a world obsessed with the concept that marriage is good, and being alone is bad,” the coach said.
This mindset leads you into relationships that aren’t really right for you as you’re desperate to meet someone and do what everyone else is doing.
“I personally would much rather be happy by myself, than tied to someone that wasn’t right for me. So please, stop comparing yourself to everything you see online,” MacAndrews revealed.
Her number one piece of dating advice is to ask yourself: “Am I really ready?”
You need to be clear on exactly what you want, let go of the past, heal your wounds and not carry any baggage with you.
“Your vibe attracts your tribe,” she said – so being content, secure, happy and confident will set you up for dating success.
Hattie MacAndrews is a qualified confidence and mindset coach who helps women to find their true confidence, tackling issues like imposter syndrome, emotional turbulence, fractured attention, procrastination and self-doubt.
