What is the top trait women look for in a man? Confidence? Attractiveness? Integrity? Success? Money?
A love expert has revealed the answer, and it’s probably not the characteristic you would expect.
Top trait women want in a man
Speaking on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO podcast, psychologist and relationship expert Dr Julie Gottman said women are looking for someone “sensitive”.
“What’s the first word they say? They don’t say rich, they don’t say successful, great achievements. Typically, they say sensitive,” she explained.
According to her, women want a partner to be emotionally aware, caring, open with their feelings and sensitive to their partner’s needs.
Our culture used to view male sensitivity as a weakness and men were expected to hide their feelings, but that’s all changing in the modern world.
Men can be strong and sensitive
There is a stereotypical idea that women want their partner to be strong and protecting, which contradicts the notion of sensitive and caring.
However, Gottman said being strong “doesn’t mean being unemotional” and men have the ability to do both.
“Sometimes it takes more strength and courage to voice emotion than it does to shut them down,” she explained.
Other traits women look for
In 2018, the menstrual tracking app Clue conducted a study in collaboration with the University of Gottingen and MyONE Condoms to find out what women really want in a partner.
They asked 68,000 people in 180 countries what is most important to them and found the top five traits are:
- Kindness
- Supportiveness
- Intelligence
- Education
- Confidence
“Given today’s emphasis on looks and wealth, it may surprise you that kindness is a top desirable trait across the world. But kindness is key to the human capacity for forming the long-term social bonds so essential to our evolution,” lead researcher Dr Virginia J. Vitzthum said.
“Without those bonds, and kindness to help us get through the inevitable rough patches, we wouldn’t have survived and flourished.”
Dr Julie Gottman is an American clinical psychologist, researcher, speaker, and author who specializes in relationships.
