KEEP FEEDBACK VAGUE IF ASKED ABOUT RELATIVE’S BOOK
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A family member has self-published a memoir of their life as an ebook. Although we are not close and live in different cities, we do enjoy chatting and catching up by phone from time to time.
I decided to purchase a copy, as I was curious about their perspective on various family events over the years, but found the book to be poorly written and generally uninteresting.
Do I mention it when next we speak? If asked directly, is it acceptable to offer vague pleasantries or a fib? I have no wish to be unkind, as taking the trouble to write and publish this book clearly meant a great deal to my relative.
GENTLE READER: Then say something nice. Your relative is not inviting literary criticism, just a kind word.
And no, you needn’t fib, because for an author, any sign of apparent interest is a kindness.
Miss Manners can offer you a few samples:
“You must have a wonderful memory to be able to recount all this.”
“You’ve certainly seen a lot of changes.”
“Was it difficult to go over all that again?”
“Are you planning a sequel?”
No, maybe not that last one.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
