DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are new to the area, and my son got right into the popular crowd. The parents all hang out, too, but do not include my husband or myself, and make snide remarks when we are around.
The kids used to hang out at our house while the parents did elsewhere, but then the kids started going to other houses and excluding our son, saying, “Oh, our parents want us to stay in with them.”
It’s hurtful and rude. My husband and I aren’t looking for friends, but feel so bad our son is left out. Is it worth confronting a parent on this issue? Why are people so cliquey?
GENTLE READER: What exactly would you say? The parents already know they are being rude, and telling them so would be rude on your part.
Miss Manners suggests that the conversation to be had is with your son -- on the subject of why we do not wish to spend time with people who behave this way. She cautions you only to avoid collective guilt: Your son may well count as friends children who are themselves friendly and polite, even when their parents are not.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
