DEAR ABBY: I just said goodbye to my third beloved pet. Even though it has gotten easier over time, each passing has been devastating, and I have grieved deeply over their loss. When my mom passed a few years back, I was with her during that peaceful moment. I felt sadness, but nothing approaching the level as it has been with my pets.
My father’s time is growing near, yet I don’t feel sadness. I have had loving relationships with my parents, but not like some of my friends who described their parents as their rock or their best friend.
I’m worried that I lack something in my heart, and I should be feeling a greater loss for humans than for pets. Please help me make sense of this. I don’t feel okay. -- GRIEVING DIFFERENTLY IN FLORIDA
DEAR GRIEVING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your pet, and please stop flogging yourself for your feelings (or lack thereof). Everyone grieves differently. It is possible that you were able to accept the death of your mother because you were no longer interacting with her on the emotional level your friends did with their parents. The same may be true for your father.
Your pets, on the other hand, were a source of emotional support on a daily basis. Sometimes pets become the equivalents of children, and the loss of that “child” can be more painful than losing one’s parents.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
