Spies are taught loads of psychological tricks which can be useful in everyday life, like getting someone to do exactly what you want.
Former Secret Service special agent Evy Pompouras has revealed exactly how to get power over anybody, and there’s just one simple step.
How to get people to do what you want
Speaking on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO podcast, the ex-special agent said you can get someone to do exactly what you want by… “shutting up”!
That’s the spy trick. You need to stop doing all the talking and be quiet. Then, you will have control as you are the listener.
“The biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot,” she said. “If I’m doing all the talking and you’re doing all the listening, you’re learning everything about me.”
If you’re talking, the other person is “getting a good read” on you and learning about your life and values, while you’re learning nothing about them.
The one doing the listening has all the power and control, so you need to be that person if you want someone to do what you ask.
Once you have control of the conversation, you have time to “understand that person’s motivational mindset” and find out their values.
“If you give people enough space, they will reveal themselves to you, but we’re too busy talking and making noise,” she said.
Once you know everything about them and they know nothing about you, you have the advantage and can get them to do anything you like.
‘Always be the quietest person in the room’
In the comments, people are agreeing with Pompouras’ advice.
One person said: “She summarised it perfectly. If you give people enough space they will reveal themselves to you. So listen.”
“Always be the quietest person in the room,” said another.
A third person added: “People will tell you exactly who they are if you just listen to how they speak.”
“Changed my life when I was told to stop filling the silence,” someone else said.
Another agreed: “We give our power away by talking.”
Evy Poumpouras was a special agent, polygraph examiner, and interrogator with the United States Secret Service from 2000 to 2012.
